I'M GOING TO STUN MY SONS GROWTH!

"you're more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine"


HAHAHA I would never do that but it makes me so sad that hes is becoming such a Big boy it feels like it was just yesterday when i was wiping his butt and changing him in a bunch of different outfits just so i could take cute pictures of him lol 

and well now in the next 2 weeks my lil Phillip is starting pre K and i already know im going to cry my eye balls out but i know he will do just fine hes my baby boy my best friend :) i love my son to death i don't know what i would be with out him.

When you Feel you cant go on!

"you're more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine"

You ever get that feeling you cant go on what so ever that you just wish you could get a "Do Over" let me tell you I have been there i have been in that wrong state of mind that makes you just want to shut all the lights out forever to make all the pain the sorrow the rejection  the YOU CANT DO IT  remarks just go away. well i'm here to tell you YOUR AMAZING! and you can accomplish many things that maybe you dont even think you can do! Dont let the devil bring you down your so much better than that you might not be in the best of positions at this point in your life you might be sad lonely heart broken you might have done things in your past that you hate yourself for what ever it is dont let it bring you down you on have one life so live it dont let other people determine the way your going to feel the intair day just BE HAPPY! if you come across rude/angry/depressed people just let it go and be happy.

I found myself a little of a year ago waking up in a tight space 2 beds 1 door plane walls 1 dresser and a roommate i didnt know where i was a nurse came in the room asked me to come with her so i went it was still early in the morning i know now everyone else there was sleeping the nurse took my blood weighted me she took my strings off my shoes she took the strings off my pajamas and she asked me to take my necklace off.

I remembered the day before i woke up here i made sure the kids where being token that morning i thought about taking my own life i thought of how i could do it i took action and attempted i remember my brother holding my head as i lay on the bath room floor fighting for my life telling me it was going to be okay. and that was it.

and here i was apparently i got taken to the hospital from there they took me too a mental hospital of course i was not crazy i didn't have any problems the one problem i did have was Major Depression there was alot that added up to this years of hurt and sadness years of drugs and just doing things i should have never been doing but i did! and just it all came down crashing down on me that day. i was here in this Mental Hospital for about a week so they could watch me make sure i was doing okay as i was there i observed alot if you know me you know i like to stay quite around people i just meet and observe my surroundings most of these people here didnt have depression maybe at one time in there life did but it was so much more than just depression i got to see where depression get's you what not taking care of yourself mentally and physically gets you and i chose right there and then i did not want to be one of these people I WANTED TO HELP THESE PEOPLE! I wanted to be the person on the other side of the desk but more of a motivational speaker! .. to say the least the mistake i made of trying to take my life put me in a even bigger hole. i had to go to a rehab for about 2 months i met some amazing girls with amazing story's that touched my heart! and i will never forget there story's or there faces. my babies only got to see my on the weekends and that broke my heart but I,ME,MYSELF put myself in that position nobody did it for me after i got out of rehab i still felt empty still wanted to search for something more. one thing i did find about a month after i came home was man name Justin Scott he has made a BIG impact in my life he has made a BIG impact in my childrens life he has told me to go after my dreams and run with them and i wanted to! i want to show him that i can do it these things i speak that i want to do. but still after being with him for almost a year now i still found myself missing something not feeling whole.

when i was younger my parents took me to church alot i know the word of god they brought me up to believe in something and i had lost my touch for many years i had not been to church in i believe about 4 years. so i thought hey maybe i need a spiritual awakening i started doing little things like praying at night time listening to some old christian bands i had not heard in a very long time. i started talking to my god searching for answers  he will always answer us it just might not be the answer we want i have been at such peace these past 2 months taking little steps to where i want to get i am starting school very soon i have started working for my daddy again  i've been so happy and content with the world around me not letting anything get in my way of being happy just giving everything to god and he knows what he's got planned for the future im just here to fallow him i hope my story inspires some of you YOU REALLY ARE ALL TRULLY AMAZING! you might be down in the dumps but i promise EVERYTHING GETS BETTER!

LOVE YOU ALL
CASSANDRA O.

and a song to inspire all you lovely people!


Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

[chorus]
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

[back to chorus]

When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause

Quotes that are a MUST!

"you're more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine"

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart."

I will be adding more quotes to this as the days go on.

A day at the pool ;)

"you're more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine"

Wow today was extremely fun and i am so tired but it was all so worth it! So today my day was a little crazy in the morning some things happened with my mother but i rather not talk about that. so we shall go on sooooooooooooooooooo last night my brother spent the night and we stayed up really late and found our self waking up at 6ish lol but its all good we made a BIG breakfast and around lunch time my brother decide he wanted to treat me and the kiddos to lunch at cici's pizza which was awesome i have not spent this much time with my brother since i was about 15 it was just me and my bub with a combined of 5 kids lol i have 3 and he has 2 it was crazy when we got home it was about 2:30 pm we got the kiddos dressed and packed some things and went to the pool IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! we didn't get home until about 5pm and not even 20 min's of us being home all of the kids passed out LOL so right now they are all in bed its either going to be an AMAZING NIGHT OF SLEEP for me or there gonna wake up at 8 and never go back to sleep but like i said im okay with all of it because i had a awesome day with them anyway just thought i would share that with everyone because well im starting to really like blogging! LOVE YOU ALL ;)

"you're more beautiful than you know,
more talented than you think,
and more loved than you can imagine"

~Kandee Johnson 

I always love looking at the quote it in morning it makes me feel real good about myself! 

anyway Last night i had so much fun Me and my Brother and my b/f went to go play bingo we had a ton of fun lots of laughs. lol well my brother and my b/f made fun of me the whole night but it was lots of fun im glad they get along i don't know what i would do if they didn't it would just be not fun at all. so yes we all went to bed really really late and im not gonna lie i am feeling it this morning but its okay because i had a blast this morning has been very eventful but i will tell yall about that later i just wanted to do a quick little blog because i had such a good time last night with my bro and my b/f I LOVE THEM! 

I will post another blog later on today when  i have more time. :) SMILE YOUR MARVELOUS!

So im feeling Pretty

I really am feeling extremly pretty today i dont know if its because i am wearing make up and my hair is done well actually i know thats not it because i do that every morning i dont know i just feel amazing! i woke up at 6 and thought i want some holllllly jeans but i cant afford them so i grabed some old pants of mine and some sicciors and sand paper YES PEOPLE i said sand paper lol and went to town and now i have awesome holllllllly jeans on! YAY! this is a very short blog because well i have to go get the kiddos ready my oldest has a eye appointment we gotta make sure hsi glasses are okay for him he starts school this month!

You are all amazing! and thanks for reading my blogs ;)

Cas.

you are all MARVELOUS!

Being a single mom.

Everyone knows its not easy but in less your a single mom you have no idea how not easy it really is. and no im not saying only single moms have it hard i am sure there is tons of moms out there that are not single and still have a rough time but im not on that topic right now im on "SINGLE MOMS" i am a "single mother" of 3 i have a son who will be 4 this month on the 28th i have two daughters one who will be 3 in October and the other will be 2 in December I live with my parents and i work for my father yes you might say i have it made i get to work for my pops and live under his ruff but its not that simple not only am i the only one who watchs my babies there father is not involved what so ever he will not pay his child-support he will not call and he will not work. he is your topical "Deadbeat Dad"  he has not been in my childrens life for more that a 4th of there life. and he knows my number and i still live in the same house since the first day he met me. (thats a different subject as well) okay so my days pretty much go like this

7:00am- Wake up, Wash up
7:30am- Doll up! (hair and make-up) {to me this is one of the main things a woman should do every morning she should show that she appriates her body it is a timple and we need to take care of it!}
8:00am- Kids wake up kids want food kids want juice and kids want cartoons so they eat i change them get them ready for the day pick up there mess put some cartoons on they get to enjoy the tv for 30 min. so i finish up on me you know changing my clothes. bye this time it is about
9:00am- I get some dirty clothes separate the dark colors and the whites put a load in the wash, ask the kids to go in the room and play and of course they give me "hell" about turning there cartoons off but it happens and i start watching Desperate House Wife's its my fav. show. so as my clothes is washing the kids are playing and im trying to hear the tv. over them singing/screeming/yelling in the room and playing it is finally 9:30ish- and i make me something to eat and sit and watch some tv
10:00am- get the clothes from the washer put them in the dryer and put another load in than i go make the kids a snack because im sure they are jumping up and down on me asking for a snack! then i go in the room and play with them for a while until it is time to do another load and another around
12:30pm- i make them lunch give them drinks and clean up there room because i know after they eat they are going to want to relax and watch some cartoons so i let them (btw this is the only time they are quite) only one of my kids takes a nap so you can only imagine how that is by this time it is about
1:30pm- i vacuum and i wash everyone's dishes i finish washing drying and folding and putting everyone's clothes up and i put my parents clothes on there bed and that's towels and all by this time the kids are calm my mother gets home around
2:00pm- i sit and talk with her because i have finish just about everything in the house the kids room is clean everyone's clothes is washed the kitchen is clean and the carpet is clean
around
4:00pm- i either help my mom or i start on dinner myself we all eat around
4:30 or 5pm- i clean up after them and then its bath time
6:00pm=bath time and play in there rooms until the sun goes down and its about
8:00pm- and i ask them to lay down and they are asleep on the couch at around 8:30 so while there sleeping i go clean up there room once again and pick them up take them to there clean beds.

after they are asleep i basically stay up for at least 3 more hrs to get some "me time" you know bubble bath/shower watch some tv or get on the computer and talk to you lovely people.

{and if one of this kids wakes up in the middle of the night i take care of him or her}
so from the moment i wake up i start my day form 730 am until about 10:30 or 11:00 i am on the go and i love every bit of it but it is not easy what so ever! and if you think you can do all that i do during the day by all means come do it... with all this i still have to maintain and fit in some where my work i do for my daddy and school that i will be attending at the end of this month.